Listen With the Ear of Your Heart

one of five secrets to a fulfilling life

generated from Substack’s AI

I had a dream last week in which I was trying to help Mr. Rogers find his red sweater. You’d think that any dream with Mr. Rogers in it would be a comforting dream. But it wasn’t. He wasn’t the fully present Fred Rogers of his television show, Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, where he was making us feel okay with who we are and telling us he’s always wanted to have a neighbor just like us. He was distracted and growing increasingly agitated. He didn’t speak, but from the way he was moving aimlessly about I knew he was wondering, Where is my sweater? Where is my neighborhood?

Then, a flash of red. It was a cardinal cloaked in Mr. Rogers’ cardigan. Mr. Rogers disappeared and then I was alone, chasing after the cardinal who eventually came to rest on a tree branch. I tried coaxing the tiny creature to turn over the cardigan, worried that its weight might break its delicate wings. Just like Mr. Rogers, the cardinal did not speak.

Generated from Substack’s AI

I knew that the only way the cardinal would hand over the sweater was if someone promised to wear it. But why was it, I wondered, the responsibility of just one person to wear this sweater? I wan’t sure what I should do, and then I woke up.

I had just recently facilitated “Five Secrets to Living a Fulfilling Life,” a class I pulled together based on what I had learned from seven years of studying the lives of saints. I had slipped Mr. Rogers into one of the five secrets (shh, it was listening) so it’s only fair he crashed my dream.

Curiosity, listening, and loving are intertwined threads

In his television show that ran on PBS from 1968 until 2001, Mr. Rogers was constantly lifting up listening and curiousity. Just as he believed listening is a prerequisite to love, I believe that curiosity is a prerequisite to being a good listener.

Curiousity naturally leads us to connect with and listen to others. When we are curious and extend that curiosity beyond ourselves, to the many people, plants, and creatures making up the world around us—we naturally want to learn more. In the process of learning their stories, we ask questions, listen, and connect in a deeper way with others.

Here ye, here ye, curiousity is cancelled

In one Mr. Roger’s episode, King Friday of Make-Believe World attempts to cancel curiosity. What precipitated this curiosity ban was that Purple Panda and Little Panda had made King Friday feel foolish. He feared appearing foolish again and so he proclaimed, “I shall make a rule, and the rule is: cancel all curiousity.”

Poor King Friday allowed fear to dampen his own desire for curiosity. And because he was a silly king, he used his position of power to attempt to create a culture that suited himself. The good news is that no matter how many rules a king makes or breaks, the king has no power to strip us of our curiousity.

The only thing that can wither our curiosity is our own fear and assumptions. If we take up the king’s mantle of fear, it closes us up and off from others. If we are snug in our own assumptions about others and the way the world works, why bother learning, wondering, and listening to songs other than the ones we already know (or think we know)?

When we are curious, we notice. In the noticing, we pay attention and open ourselves up to others’ stories. We become better listeners. When we listen with the ear of our heart, we become better writers and better, more loving humans.

Cardinal Rules Notes:

— While working on this post last week, two things happened.

One: a cardinal landed on the lilac bush in my backyard. Before the bird flew off, I listened with the ear of my heart.* Later, within the last image of this post, I tried putting into words what I heard.

Two: On Thursday, the House passed HR 4 which, if enacted, would claw back $1.1 billion in already-approved funding for public media. It would strip essential services from communities and could force rural stations off the air.

In 1969, when public broadcasting was at risk of being reduced by $10 million, Mr. Rogers successfully testified before the U.S. Senate Commerce Committee in support of federal funding. The Senate is expected to take up the bill this week. Mr. Rogers isn’t with us, so it’s up to us. We can do three things right now to protect public media, one of which is contacting our Senators and urging them to vote NO. Protect My Public Media makes it easy to take action. Just go here to take action today. If you need inspiration first, watch Mr. Rogers’ six-minute testimony here. The rather testy demeanor of the chairman transformed during this time. You can see him listening with the ear of his heart.

— *The title of this post, “Listen With the Ear of Your Heart,” is taken from Benedict of Nursia (c. 480-547). He wrote what has come to be known as The Rule of Saint Benedict. It’s essentially a guide for how to live harmoniously and in community with others.